i love me some folds

man. i really like ben folds, whether attached to his five or not. i don't know. he's just the right combination of piano, happy muppett sounds, and angsty lyrics. in case you don't know me that well, this is directly up my alley; happy tinged with sad. like when you're having a really good time with your friends and taking up the sidewalk and giggling and then you see a homeless person.

deathly

ok so i got convinced by pico to give this nanowrimo thing a whirl. it's a good idea, really, since i've had writers block since about 1997. it was hard enough to think of an idea/plot. but now i've got to write 50,000 words? well, it seemed surmountable until i figured out that that's about 175 pages. and until i realized (last night while trying to get to sleep) that that breaks down to about 6 pages a day. wow. for me, that's like not knowing how to drive and then building a rocketship. i may just break up during re-entry. so i've noticed that while i've tried to write a bit each day, i'm really just tinkering with the prologue and haven't even inched towards the real story. this is definitely a mental block scared type of thing. must move past prologue. NOW.

aaaargh

today husband and i were subjected to things no human should have to experience. our mistake: turning to and keeping 'entertainment tonight'. apparently brad pitt has taken it upon himself to first learn about , and second tell us all about stem cell research. great. et immediately followed up this 'news' with a story about p diddy heading out to the swing states as part of his citizen change thingie. how can this be the same guy that made those kids walk from manhattan to brooklyn to get him cheesecake in mtv's 'making the band 2'??! i don't know, i just have the feeling that p-diddy would jump off a cliff if someone told him it was cool. and last but not least, we got to see good ol' ashton kutcher at a dem rally. is the world ending? no, seriously.

things i don't think my cats should have eaten

1. tinfoil
2. chocolate (it's supposed to kill them)
3. paper
4. muffin tops
5. bread of any kind
6. dust bunnies
7. day old coffee
8. string
9. corn
10. dishwater oily from cooking turkey burgers

and that's just the top ten. ick.

vote this

ok, i might be a horrible person for saying this. i'm really sick of all these people getting all excited to vote all of the sudden. it's, like, TOO COOL to vote now. everywhere i go, people are telling me to vote. first of all, losers, it's not like i've never voted before ok? save your enthusiasm for someone who really needs it, like maybe those millions of single women who never in their life bothered to vote. ok sure, i didn't vote in the last presidential election. ok sure, it was decided by about 500 votes (and the supreme court). ok sure, i knew even before the chaos in florida started that i should've voted. i mean, i voted for clinton in my first at-bat, so i was jazzed to keep the streak alive. i just didn't do it is all. and now all these people who could've cared less back when gore was fighting for his political life (and i'm talking about mtv and oprah here, not about me) are accosting me on the street and cramming my ears full of do-gooderism. i almost didn't even register in my new state, just out of spite. but husband filled out the forms after his mom and sister gave him the riot act in their living room whilst the second presidential debate boomed out over queensview. am i the only one to miss apathy?

diving back out

i've bailed on whole foods. took me all of 4 working days. no excuse, really, just a general malaise regarding the whole stinkin' thing. i was in the deli, wearing a uniform (which husband did NOT get to snap a photo of, thank god, even though he vowed he would), taking the subway, waking up early. ick. all of it, ick. the silly thing, though, is that once i quit i had this whole new appreciation for not having a job and not seeing people, which was the whole stupid reason i decided to get a job in the first place. i am a complex individual. or maybe i'm just never quite satisfied. that doesn't make me a bad person, just, uh, crazy. right. crazy.

diving back in

into the world, that is. just got a call from the 'pre-pack' manager of the specialty section at whole foods. interview is monday morning. applied last week and was really starting to wonder why even a retail job wouldn't give me the time of day--international conspiracies was my theory. it's funny there's an interview, though. i'm assuming it's so that they can look me over and make sure i don't look mean or crazy (which could tend to scare the customers). this is definitely only a position i'll keep until i get a "real" job, though, in my chosen profession of urban planning. my resumes are out there, humming and pulsating on someone's desk, eating a hole in their wood laminate, hoping for a chance. c'mon little buggers...

beware of the first post

whether i'm doing this because i'm bored without a job or whether i'm doing this in order to get the ol' writing juices flowing again doesn't really matter, i suppose. i'm just glad i finally got off my mental ass and did it. yeah, you heard me--my mental ass, which of course would be smaller, firmer, and more toned than my actual ass.

orlando, florida: ihop .

what may not be apparent here is that i'm on vacation, and that actually i'm pretty darn excited to go to disneyworld that morning. yeah, my feelings don't always read on my face. at least i'm aware of that. also, husband took this, so there may also be some kind of lingering, subconscious resentment and/or shyness thing going on.

scotland, isle of sky: portrait with ice cream cone (and husband and friend) .

i really just included these two photos by way of introduction (that would be introduction of me to you); they pretty much sum up how i think of myself, whenever i am forced to be mindful and think of how others may perceive me.